Television: Diary of a Soapstar Superbrain - Take 2!
By Avril keogh
Since qualifying for the quarter finals of ITV's This Morning Soapstar Superbrain quiz last month, I went from dedicated soap fan to mildly obsessive soap fan. Friends were quizzing me over text and facebook - asking questions like "how many landlords have there been in Eastenders 'Queen Vic'?"..."Who composed the music to Dallas?"..."Who played 'Myles Colby' in Dynasty?"
"Neighbours is currently celebrating an important anniversary - what is it?"... "What was the name of the hotel that Coronation Street's Rita stayed in when she went to Blackpool to escape her infamous ex-lover attacker 'Alan Bradley'?" and "what was the number on the tram that eventually hit him?!" etc etc..
My friends were great lending episodes of this and that - I borrowed the first two seasons of Dallas on DVD (note to everyone - if you've never seen Dallas or if, like me, you were a little too young to understand it, then you must get it on DVD - it's amazing!) and the good people at overacheevers.com lent me classic episodes of Coronation Street and Emmerdale. I appeared on Today FM's Phil Cawley show and just to keep me on my toes, he asked listeners to text in questions to test me on my soap trivia. I did really well with the exception of one question. "Who was Coronation Street's 'Alf Roberts' first wife?" - I said Reneé, but apparently she was wife number two. I forgot how randy people in soaps can be - I mean even Alf Roberts got it on! (by the way did you know that Bryan Mosley who played him was an accomplished stunt arranger?) See I am a soap nerd. Tuesday 18th August
So armed with all this useless information I headed off to Dublin Airport - my friend drove me out - I mean you can't expect me to drive myself out - I've appeared on This Morning now- don't you know who I am??????!!! And having been stuck in a security alert at Stansted Airport I finally met my driver on the other side. It takes two hours to get from Stansted to the hotel where I would be staying and for most of that the driver was quizzing me too, so I think I was fairly prepared to go the distance on the quiz!
Wednesday 19th August6.30am - The alarm bell rang, but like the first morning I awoke for 'Soapstar Superbrain' quiz, I was already wake. "How many episodes of Dynasty have there been?".... "When did Neighbours start broadcasting in the UK?".... "Which Hollywood star played 'Scott Irwin' in Home and Away?"... All of these questions and more were going through my head..
7.30am - Arrived at the ITV studios and met my fellow competitors. Jade was the EastEnders representative, Maria, the Hollyoaks one and Simone was the Emmerdale fan.
8.00am - I was whipped away to the make-up room. For some reason that I've yet to determine, one make-up girl made up Maria, Jade and Simone in the time it took the other girl to make me up. I suppose it takes time to improve on perfection!!!!! That's my reasoning anyway and I'm sticking to it.
8.30am - We were brought into studio to record promos for the quiz that were going to be played throughout the show. We got to squirt soap bubbles at each other which was fun and then we had to do moody, competitive poses. If you ever have to do that and the last thing you're feeling is moody, then bite your lip - it really helps! Then we were brought down to the South Bank where they wanted us to walk moodily in a row. It ended up looking more 'Sex and the City' than moody though. Speaking of Sex and the City, note to self, next time you're going on TV make sure you wear a sports bra! Oh and interesting thought for anyone who knows me I was the second tallest girl there, all five foot three of me!
9.00am - You may be wondering how the Cinderella bit in the title comes in? Well on my way back from the loo I tripped slightly and looked down to see that my shoe had come away from its heel. Hmmm.. What's a girl to do? Well the brilliant This Morning team sorted it. A man, who I can only assume was from wardrobe, maybe set construction, came into the Green Room and took my shoe away. I assumed he was going to fix it, otherwise it would be very weird if he just walked in and took my shoe and walked off!?!? However, then we were asked to go to studio for a quick run through. So do I hobble in with one shoe on and one shoe off or do I go with no shoes at all? I thought in the interests of Health and Safety and with the type of dress I was wearing I thought I'd do the hippy chick thing and go shoeless. However, never go shoeless when you're sitting on a steel stool, my God the cold leapt through me like nothing I've ever felt. Then my knight in shining armour (the guy who fixed my shoe - never found out what his name was - but not knowing his name adds to the romance of it!) gave me back my shoe which was fixed. But the matching one was back in the Green Room so that I had a random shoe in my hand. I can't imagine what the people in the gallery must have thought. Strange Irish girl wearing one shoe and in need of a sports bra - ah they wouldn't be far wrong!!!!
9.30am - We were in the green room chatting to the other people who were on the show. I asked one woman what she was doing on the show. She answered 'I'm a surrogate mother' and she asked 'what are you doing here?' I felt extremely humbled. When you hear stories like that the last thing you want to say is 'well actually I'm doing a soap quiz'. But then I suppose that's why This Morning is so successful, it's so varied, there is something for everyone!
10.30am - The show starts. I started singing the theme tune out loud. No one joined in with me - wonder why?!
11.00am - Got photos taken with a couple of the guests on the show. Politician Christine Hamilton, Brookside star 'Phillip Olivier' and former Coronation Street and now Heartbeat star 'Nikki Sanderson' (who has legs that go on forever). Then I had a brainwave! Just in case I didn't get through to the next round I got my photograph taken beside the picture of Phillip Schofield that hangs on the wall in the corridor outside the studio. Let's face it, it could be the closest I was going to get to meeting my childhood hero, who is currently on his summer break.
12.00am - We were taken into the studio where Ruth Langsford was currently presenting a cookery item. Her new hubby Eamonn Holmes came over and gave us all a lovely warm welcome. We were miked up, had our make-up topped up and were seated behind our buzzers in anticipation of the big moment that was finally here. 12.15am - The quiz begins. The first question related to Emmerdale. I got it half right so was given a point. Unfortunately for me, the second question was a Hollyoaks question, which is my weakest link. I'll admit I didn't have a clue so already I was behind. Finally there was a Coronation Street question. This was my question, if I didn't get this right there was no way I was going to be able to pull it back. It was a re-enactment of a famous Corrie scene and for ages I didn't know what it was. There was a little light bulb - literally - that went off in my head and even as Eamonn got to me I was still writing the answer.
Unfortunately everyone else knew the answer too so I didn't really claw any points back. However, the fact that I had got one right helped to build my confidence back up. Then they showed an EastEnders 'what happened next?' clip. I didn't have a clue. I had said to myself beforehand that if I didn't know the clip straight away that it may be easy to figure it out if you look at what else was in the scene and guess an answer. Better to say something than nothing at all kind of thing! But it happened so quick and my head just went into meltdown and I couldn't come up with an answer. Doh! I was raging, especially when I saw the clip and saw what happened next - I remember watching the clip when it was broadcast. Everyone else got that one right - so I was well behind at this stage. Still I had the quick fire round to come..
As Eamonn pointed out that was my chance to come back into the game. I knew all the answers to the questions and was pressing the buzzer but everyone else seemed to get there first. I knew I was the one going home. I was brought up as an Irish Catholic and therefore taught it was wrong to lie - so I won't lie. I was gutted to be going home! I mean don't get my wrong, I had a great time, loved every minute of it. But it was because I was having so much fun that I was upset to be going. But I'll get over it. Eamonn asked me my thoughts and I said the cheesiest thing ever - 'I've had a great day', that's what everyone says. Never again will I ever slag someone on the TV for saying something stupid or not knowing the answers to obvious questions. But it's totally different when it's live TV and you're under pressure, and the lights are on you.. Mortified or wha!
So, the producer Tom came up to me afterwards and I gave him a cartoon drawing that my friend, the brilliant artist Tom Cassidy, had drawn for me to give to Phillip Schofield in the case that I wouldn't get to meet him. At least he knows I was there and that I was eager to meet him. Maybe someday???? One good thing about not going through to the next round is that I can now get my life back and actually get back to enjoying watching soaps rather than studying them!!
Tune into the semi-final on Thursday 26th and then the final on September 2nd on ITV's This Morning at 10.30am.