Internet: Facebook - A breeding ground for stalkers or just 'friends' with boundary issues??!
Random people are adding me on Facebook everyday, this is outside of my own personal group of friends, various work colleagues I have had over the years, old school/college mates and various world travellers I have previously met on that two-and-a-half-years sabbatical to Asia, Australia and New Zealand.
Don't get me wrong, it is flattering for people to be interested in adding you as a 'friend' but for my part, unless I have at least met you face-to-face at some stage in my life, I am going to feel a little suspicious and somewhat uncertain of your intentions and even that does not mean I know you and you actually KNOW me!!
I think most of us know at this stage that Facebook - like most other internet networking sites like Bebo and MySpace - are designed for users to add random people who they do not necessarily know just to build their numbers. A pretty self-indulgent childish feat you may utter, none-the-less for some socialite surfers it is merely a numbers game!
With social networking, what has occurred now is a wave of paranoia about who are friends with whom resulting in defensiveness among REAL friends as they share and cross-contacts. If you have not overheard this type of dialogue among punters in the pub on a Saturday night, where have you been?! Quite hilarious until you notice your own group of friends talking about the pitfalls of social networking and developing an irritable tone with each other!!
So if you notice your 'friends' numbers are adding up five times faster than you are deleting them, some of these additions are NOT, I repeat NOT real friends!! You need to have a better screening process! Obviously everyone is different so I understand not everyone will agree with me on this (these are the people who probably have no life, cannot be alone even on/with a computer and want to know all about you!!!) but c'mon wise up and ask yourself if you need another Facebook friend in your cousin's other cousin, your aunt's best friend or your friend of a friend of a friend.. In the end of the day (and have the Kleenex at the ready all you habitual 'add-a-friend-ers') more often and most likely Facebook 'friends' are NOT REAL FRIENDS!
Here are my Top 5 guidelines for screening potential Facebook Friends, you can choose to 'ADD AS A GUIDE' if you like!!
Top 5 guidelines for screening potential Facebook Friends:
- If you have never met this 'friend' in person, you DO NOT know them so DO NOT add them to your friends list!!
- If they are a virtual friend of your actual friend, they still DO NOT really know your friend, therefore definitely DO NOT know you so they should NOT be your virtual friend either!!
- If you would not normally sit in a pub and have a drink with this 'friend', they should NOT be on your facebook friends list!!
- If you are feeling obligated to add a 'Friend of a Friend' type acquaintance of your actual friend (due to the paranoid sense that a rare chance meeting may occur with this 'friend' and you will be confronted with the robotic 'Why didn't you add me' slight intone of desperation), it is a RARITY and will NOT happen so they should NOT be on your friends list.
- Blast from the Past friends? A tricky one because you DID know them at one stage. How long ago have you spoken/seen them? How well do you know them? This is really just a question of wanting to get to know them again, if so ADD, if not DO NOT ADD!!